Way to Go

May 2, 2004
Outside Magazine

1999 Family Vacation Guide, Where in the World?

Way to Go
You Want Me to Eat What?!

Face it: Any table more than a block away from the home dining room can be a foreign eatery for junior travelers. If you don't even recognize dinner, the blech! factor can be disturbingly high. That's why ventures into foreign lands can require a bit more than the usual creative encouragement (read: extortion) to avoid public kid-retching scenes. Some commonly confronted yucky stuff, and parent-tested strategies:

Japanese tempura eel (whole)
Food looks suspiciously like: Snakes 'n' Crisco
Down-the-hatch strategy: "It's just like Gummi Worms, only without the Gummi."

Leberklosse (German liver dumplings)
Food looks suspiciously like: Don't even go there
Down-the-hatch strategy: "When I snap my fingers, you'll awaken and eat anything put in front of you."

Pickled okra
Food looks suspiciously like: String beans with razor stubble
Down-the-hatch strategy: "OK, but for every two you use to whip your sister, you have to eat one."

Pâté de foie gras
Food looks suspiciously like: Something from inside an extremely disturbed goose
Down-the-hatch strategy: "It's like mud wrestling — with your tongue!"

Roast suckling pig
Food looks suspiciously like: Porky after the barn fire
Down-the-hatch strategy: "Tastes just like chicken."
— Ron C. Judd

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