The Outside Yenta Says...

May 2, 2004
Outside Magazine
Travel Guide, Winter 1995-1996

The Outside Yenta Says...

1. If you migrated toward (a), you're a PURIST.
Crowds and glitz, say you, are the source of all evil. Take your Birkenstock-wearing, muesli-munching, powder-lusting self to

Mount Baker, Washington--Mecca for laid-back thirtysomething free-riders. Please, flannel shirts only.

Taos, New Mexico--Deep powder, steep terrain, and few TVs.

Alta, Utah--Monster 500-inch annual snowfalls and retro lifts that keep skiers in line rather than crowding the slopes.

Mad River Glen, Vermont--Minimal grooming, no high-speed quads. Just you, a 46-year-old single chair, and gnarly trails through pristine forest.

Grand Targhee, Wyoming--Legendary powder and sartorially challenged spud farmers from Idaho.

2. If you consistently chose (b), you are a PARENT
Life revolves around minivans and runny noses. Pack the Pampers and tote the tots to

Northstar, California--Staffed with wholesome midwestern types for that heartland ambience.

Schweitzer Mountain, Idaho--With the kids safely stashed at the Enchanted Forest's nifty terrain garden, regain your sanity on the slopes.

Waterville Valley, New Hampshire--Kids tired of skiing? There's ice skating, swimming, and plenty of racket sports.

Sunday River, Maine--A one-two punch: Bethel's Mayberry-esque downtown for that family-values feel and Sunday River's great ski school.

Steamboat, Colorado--With 60 child-friendly instructors and their own Magic Carpet lift, your kids may never want to go home.

3. If you answered mostly (c), you are clearly a POSEUR.
It's not how you ski, but how you look that counts. Strike your poses at

Sun Valley, Idaho--Bring your tux and join the jewel-bedecked throwbacks to Hollywood's glamour days.

Vail, Colorado--Fur coats, big hair, and runs so groomed everyone feels like a hero.

Stratton, Vermont--Blond Connecticut housewives in BMWs roaring up to their condos.

Park City, Utah--Show up in January and hang with bicoastal industry moguls at the Sundance Film Festival.

Mammoth, California--The resort itself is low-key, but it's still mobbed by Los Angelenos. Enough said.

4. A steady selection of (d) marks you as PATHOLOGICAL
You are in-bounds, out-of-bounds, upside down--all at the same time. Seek out cliffs and moguls at

Jackson Hole, Wyoming--400 inches of annual snowfall and the baddest elevator shaft in North America. Few are worthy.

Mount Hood Meadows, Oregon--You, a Sno-Cat, and Heather Canyon, a gigantic chasm sliced open by volcanic mud flows.

Squaw Valley, California--Largest concentration of double-black-diamonds in the state.

Snowbird, Utah-- Continuous top-to-bottom tram runs give you a shot at 30,000-plus feet of hairy vertical daily.

Crested Butte, Colorado--Chutes, avalanches, and more chutes.

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