The Outside Yenta Says...

May 2, 2004
Outside Magazine
Travel Guide, Winter 1995-1996

The Outside Yenta Says...

1. If you consistently selected (a), you are a HOPELESS AMPHIBIAN.
Your body requires moisture at all times. Bring your scuba gear, surfboard, sailboard, or sea kayak to

Bonaire--Plummeting coral walls just 100 feet from the beach--walk out of your room with a tank strapped on.

Maui--Aerial flips off 15-footers at Hookipa Beach Park. Windsurf-o-rama.

Baja California--Tired of kayaking the pristine, turquoise coves of Isla Espíritu Santo? Snorkel 'em.

Palau--Ngemelis Wall drops a thousand feet, a Technicolor backdrop for undulating, nine-foot sea fans.

Barbados--The winter swells at Soup Bowl rumble like earthquakes. Don't forget your leash.

2. If you like (b), you are undoubtedly a SALTY DOG.
You require the mighty roar of the ocean and a sturdy vessel, either for sailing or fishing. Set a course for

British Virgin Islands--Drop anchor at the Bight off Norman Island and explore the caves in your dinghy.

Fiji--Sail to Naviti Island, visit the female chief, and trade with the locals for wood carvings.

St. Vincent and the Grenadines--Sailing made simple: Cruise downwind from St. Vincent to Union Island. Drop the boat off. Fly home.

Big Island of Hawaii--Blue marlin, yellowfin tuna, and mako sharks--strap yourself in, cast, and prepare for a fight.

Florida Keys--Battle Atlantic sailfish offshore or wade off Islamorada and toss fat plugs at stiletto-toothed barracudas.

3. Since you've chosen mostly (c), you are a JUNGLE JUNKIE.
An explorer at heart, you scoff at beaches and yearn for meandering trails beneath verdant canopies. Bring your butterfly net to

Dominica--A green reprieve from a sea of sandy resorts. Hike the densest rainforest in the Caribbean, then take a dip in a warm-water mineral pool near Boiling Lake.

St. Lucia--With luck you'll spot the rare green St. Lucia parrot in the Quilesse Forest Reserve.

Kauai--Seriously lush. More rainfall than any place on the planet. Strap on your gaiters and attempt the radical cliffs and gorges of the Kalalau Trail.

Guadeloupe--The croissants are so French, so flaky. Carbo-load, then hike up sulfur-spewing 4,813-foot La Soufrière volcano.

Grenada--Cling to rocks, vines, and your life trekking the Camp Fedon Trail inside the Grand Étang Forest Reserve.

4. If you picked mostly (d), you are a BEACH POTATO
Grab your beach blanket and the latest Grisham and head for

Anguilla--Thirty-three heavenly beaches and not a Jet Ski in sight.

Harbour Island (Bahamas)--A three-mile swath of honest-to-God pink sand.

Kaimbu (Fiji)--Rent the entire island and snooze beneath a palm tree.

Culebra (Puerto Rico)--On a busy day there might be ten other people on the creamy sand of Playa Soni.

Mayreau (Grenadines)--Privacy defined. A thrice-weekly mail boat is the only regular transport.

5. You can't help but answer (e), which make you a SHAMELESS HENDONIST.
Somehow your suitcase always returns home with other people's underwear in it. Consume mass quantities on

Jamaica--Seek out Negril, the Caribbean's den of iniquity.

Puerto Rico--Some say San Juan's Condado district is emerging as the next South Beach.

Oahu--Party with the aging beach boys on Waikiki.

Yucatán--Blaring reggae and salsa from a string of open-air bars along Tulúm Beach.

Bahamas--Grab your goat mask and your stilts and join the Junkanoo revelers on Nassau's Bay Street.

More at Outside

Elsewhere on the Web

Not Now

Open a World of Adventure

Our Dispatch email delivers the stories you can’t afford to miss.

Thank you!