The Devil's Dictionary

Jan 10, 2002
Outside Magazine

Car·a·bin·er (n)

Char·is·mat·ic meg·a·fau·na (n)

ad·ven·ture (n) : defying death without begrudging it.

al·pine-style climb·ing (n): ascending a mountain without porters· Curiously, valets and maids are still permitted.

bar·bie (n): photo of someone taken from a distant valley floor or neighboring peak. Downright disturbing if the person being photographed is, in real life, no larger than a doll.

bonk (v): to fail, quit, or conk out due to physical or mental weakness. Also British slang for casual sex, which, sadly, carries the same definition.

brain buck·et (n): a helmet· Less entertainingly colorful when the bucket is "scooped empty" by an EMT.

brick (n): a multisport workout· For instance: triathletes swimming, biking, and running in a single training session. (Compare "house," which is seen when thousands of athletes perform these events while cemented together.)

bro deal (n): variation of "pro deal," as in "pro purchase." And, no, there is no such word as "brostitution."

car·a·bin·er (n): a wee caribou whose antlers are used in climbing; here, mainly a gratuitous excuse to use the funny-sounding word "antlers."

car·cass (n): the spent remains of a happy editorial intern at the end of Outside's "education process."

char·is·mat·ic meg·a·fau·na (n): big-eyed, attention-grabbing mammals, such as pandas and baby seals, as opposed to rats and toads. That said, you're on a lifeboat with an endangered scor- pion and an adorable, adorable koala, and there are only two life jackets· Which do you save? Yeah. Yeah, we thought so.

class sys·tem (n): scale for rating the difficulty of a river, in ascending difficulty from Class I to Class VI. "Class VII" is hep whitewater slang for "the afterlife."

clip·less (adj): lacking toeclips; commonly said of bicycle pedals· (Look, folks, these aren't all intended to be humorous. We teach· For the children.)

cord (n): (1) a climbing rope (2) the part of the spine that breaks if (1) snaps·

cor·du·roy (n): result of a snowcat's creation of a freshly groomed trail of snow, leaving a ridged surface· Makes for fine, if very temporary, pants.

crit·ter flick (n): an animal movie&. Hyphenated, "critter-flick" is an amusing game to show little Jimmy in Yellowstone, as long as he can outrun bison.
crux (n): the most difficult section of a climb· It bears mentioning that "crux" derives from the same Latin root as "crucifixion."

di·aled (adj): to have your shit together;to have all the parts on your equipment working smoothly· As in, "Hey, I finally got that bike dialed·" Or, for indoorsy types, "Hey, I finally got that phone dialed."

draft (v): to ride in the slipstream directly behind another cyclist, oddly conscripting him into military service in the process.

ducks (n): people standing around like decoys on the slopes or along a singletrack. Be advised that, in this sense of the word, "duck season" is illegal in 43 states.

dude (n): if you don't know this word, stop reading this list. Seriously.

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