The five things you should know if you were only going to know five things about yesterday at the Olympics.
1. While last night might’ve been the most boring primetime night thus far in London, the U.S. and Canada women’s soccer teams made up for that with their semifinal match yesterday afternoon. The U.S. won 4-3 on a goal from Alex Morgan in injury time of the second extra-time period, minutes before heading to a shootout. As this team has a habit of doing, the U.S. shot itself in the foot enough to comeback numerous times and make this one of the greatest soccer games ever—men, women, or crab. Canadian Christine Sinclair scored three goals, and her coach John Herdman said the U.S. was “lucky” to win. What’s that, John? I can’t hear you because MY EARS ARE FILLED WITH 29 GOLD MEDALS.