Everything you need to know about tonight's Olympic primetime coverage—without knowing what actually happened.
MEN’S POLE VAULT
As with all throwing events, you don’t really have a choice whether or not you want to watch this. It actually ends up being a pretty good competition, though, between Renaud Lavillenie of France and the German duo of Bjorn Otto and Raphael Hozdeppe. Just three guys, sticking a giant pole into the ground, and seeing how high they can leverage themselves. If pole vaulting isn’t a metaphor for capitalism, then I clearly don’t know what a metaphor is.