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Adventure : Nutrition

The Rise of the Coffee Enema: Don’t Try this at Home. Please.

The act of butt chugging, or ingesting a drink through the rectum, gained nationwide exposure in 2012 after a frat guy at the University of Tennessee was rushed to the hospital with a blood alcohol content level of .40 percent. (The legal BAC for driving in Tennessee is .08 percent.) Even worse was how the kid’s BAC got so high: a Franzia enema. Yes, Franzia is that boxed wine that costs $13.99 for five liters of “fruity and friendly,” crowd-pleasing cab.

That poor Pi Kappa Alpha dude taught us all that some things, such as alcohol can be absorbed into the bloodstream much more quickly through the rectum than through the mouth. Perhaps that’s why health nuts and stars of TLC’s “My Strange Addiction” have turned to shooting coffee up their bums. They somehow believe coffee’s natural antioxidants and caffeine will work better if they bypass the digestive system. Among the coffee-enema benefits coach and personal trainer Ben Greenfield lists on his website:

-Clean and heal the colon…

-Detoxify the liver…

-Reduce many types of chronic pain…

-Help eliminate many parasites…

-Help with depression, confusion, and general tension…

-Increase mental clarity and energy levels, while reducing moodiness or anger…

-And much more…

Well, ladies and gents, the scientists have spoken, and all of those claims are a load of BS. To start, while caffeine is absorbed slightly faster through the butt, you’ll absorb 3.5 times less caffeine anally than you would if you drank it.  

And Korean researchers say that coffee enemas have “no proven benefit” and carry a “considerable risk of provoking unwanted complications.” Those complications include proctocolitis, an inflammation of the rectum and colon more popularly associated with food poisoning, and STDs. And rectal burn. Not because some people’s butt coffee was ‘90s McDonald’s hot, but because coffee contains chemical compounds that can scorch your insides.

And there’s more. "Whenever you are inserting something into the rectum there is a danger of causing a tear in the lining," Dr. Roshini Rajapaksa, assistant professor of medicine and a gastroenterologist at NYU Medical Center, told ABC News.com. She said she would never recommend coffee enemas because of the possible complications and total lack of an upside. "Overusing enemas can sometimes lead to dehydration and it can basically lead to a decrease in bowel function." 

So, folks, keep it in your cup. 

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The On-The-Go Camp Food Showdown

For campers and backpackers looking for the best pre-prepared backcountry meals, Good To-Go is the new contender in town. Co-founded by chef Jennifer Scism, the Maine-based company aims to make lightweight gourmet meals that outdo typical freeze-dried fare.

Scism, who co-owns Annisa in New York's Greenwich Village and has cooked at four-star restaurants, decided she needed better food options after planning a seven-day backpacking trip with her husband. So she pulled out the dehydrator and started making the kinds of meals she'd be proud of in her own restaurant. 

My fiancée, Paige, and I eat a vegan diet, and she's gluten-free. That limits options for camp food. But thankfully Good To-Go has three gluten-free flavors, two of which are also vegan (they're labeled vegetarian). We wanted to see how they stacked up against the other big names out there—Backpacker's Pantry, Mountain House, and MaryJaneFarms—so we worked up our appetites and dug in. Here are the results: 

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Good To-Go Three Bean Chili

Gathering firewood and setting up camp on the Chama River in northern New Mexico left us hungry. Good thing we'd brought snacks. Because Good To-Go is dehydrated rather than freeze-dried like most backpacking meals, it requires almost double the time to absorb water—20 minutes—compared to others. Expect that going in, and you're, well, good to go. When it was ready, I opened the resealable packet, and the chili was still piping hot.

The consistent first response was, "Mmm." The chili packs a lot of flavor, and it's spicy, but not over-salted like most brands. Perfect texture, too, just like you'd expect at home. At 100 grams per serving (a more realistic serving size than most offerings), the chili made for a hearty meal, the kind you want after a long day outside. ($6, 3.5 oz)

Calories: 340
; Protein: 16g; 
Carbs: 64g
; Fat: 5g
, Sodium: 360mg

Overall Rating: 9.5/10

MaryJanesFarm Outpost Lentils, Rice, & Indian Spice

Part two of our Chama dinner was also dehydrated, but took half the time to hydrate. Nonetheless, the rice was a bit chewy, and though the flavor was good, it didn't stand out after Good To-Go's excellent chili. MaryJaneFarms does get props for all-organic ingredients and eco-packaging that you can burn when you're done to eliminate waste. Unfortunately, the lack of insulation and no reseal option (you fold the top down while hydrating) means you lose heat for a lukewarm meal. ($6, 4.3 oz)

Calories (per pouch): 435; Protein: 16.5g; 
 Carbs: 90g; 
Fat: 2.3g
; Sodium: 780mg

Overall Rating: 8/10

Good To-Go Herbed Mushroom Risotto

After a 3.5-mile quad-busting hike to 11,400-foot Nambe Lake in New Mexico's Pecos Wilderness, I needed fuel. So after boiling water, I chomped into an apple and let the risotto soak. Twenty minutes later, I dove in, and I admit I didn't waste much time reflecting on every bite. But my first impression was the risotto's texture—I felt like I should be eating this on a plate at a restaurant. The mushrooms popped satisfyingly, and the flavor was subtle, but good. I was mostly satisfied, but while the serving is ample compared to other brands, I'd probably already burned most of the 410 calories it gave me just getting here. I was left wishing for just a bit more. ($6, 3.4 oz)

Calories: 410; 
Protein: 13g
; Carbs: 64g ; Fat: 10g; Sodium: 420mg

Overall Rating: 9/10

Backpacker's Pantry Katmandu Curry (for two)

Paige and I had just come back from a late-night music session, and we thought we'd save time by boiling up this curry dish at home. In the backcountry, a certain psychology and physical necessity tends to make your taste buds forgiving, so it's true that our home environment could have skewed the results here. Still, Backpacker's Pantry has long been my go-to when opting for freeze-dried backpacking meals, so I'm familiar with it in its proper setting.

In both scenarios, my biggest complaint is the over-salted flavor. Otherwise, it would stand up to home cooking. True, you need electrolytes after a long hike, but I found it was excessive here. And I'd normally eat the whole pouch myself, which gives me 2440 mg of sodium (ouch), yet only three grams of fat—a key requirement in the backcountry. The curry was a tad watery, too. Extra points for clear gluten-free and vegan labeling. ($6.50, 6.6 oz)

Calories (per serving): 340;
 Protein; 18g 
Carbs: 64g ; Fat: 1.5g; Sodium: 1220mg

Overall Rating: 7/10

Good To-Go Thai Curry 

This one has milk and anchovy, so I gave it to Paige's brother Pete for testing. He found the rice to be quite tasty, full of Thai flavor. His only complaint: the spices were a tad too sweet. But he declared it good to the last bite, which came a bit too soon to fill him up. Bring on dessert. ($6, 3.4 oz)

Calories: 380; Protein: 10g; Carbs: 56g; Fat: 14g
; Sodium: 500mg

Overall Rating: 8/10

Mountain House Fire Roasted Vegetable Blend

Mountain House doesn't have any full-meal options for vegans, so I opted for a side dish. While the food smelled like it was going to be very tasty, when I drained the excess water (it's in the directions, but it feels like wasting precious liquid) and ate a spoonful, the meal was bland. That's fine if you want to customize your flavor, but I didn't.

Nonetheless, I added some much-needed salt and garlic powder, but it still didn't hit the mark. Something else was missing, too. Rice would have been a good touch. The veggies were flaccid and not particularly appealing, while the beans were unremarkable. True, this is a side dish, but it's made to be self-contained, and yet I found it only works in tandem with something more flavorful. ($4, 1.5 oz)

Calories: 150
; Protein: 7.5g
; Carbs: 30g; Fat: 1g
; Sodium: 13mg

Overall Rating: 5/10

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What We've Learned from Fish Guts

It’s important for the human body to have a diverse set of bacteria in the gut; after all, low diversity is linked to many diseases. But mixing up your diet might not lead to a wider spectrum of microbes living in your midsection. 

According to researchers led by Dr. Daniel Bolnick of the University of Texas at Austin, the more diverse a fish’s diet, the less diverse the microbes in its gut. “We're still scratching our heads as to why,” Bolnick says. “We also don't really know yet whether this reduced microbial diversity is good or bad, though some diseases (colitis, for instance, and obesity) are associated with low microbial diversity.”

Studies have shown that diet and environment can affect the bacteria in the gut, but most studies have only looked at a single factor at a time, for instance the amount of fat in a person’s diet. Bolnick and his team wanted to go further to test how combinations of foods could affect bacteria in the gut. 

“Treating diet as a set of discrete and different options isn't realistic though,” he says. So they turned to two species of fish, the threespine stickleback and the Eurasian perch, and monitored their diets. The researchers thought the fish who ate a variety of foods would have more diverse gut bacteria than the fish who stuck to one type. It turned out the opposite was true. 

Fish and humans are very different, but they do share many of the same immune cells and genes in the gut lining. At the same time, our intestines are structured differently, and our diets are different. 

“It remains an open question whether the patterns identified in our study will also apply to humans,” Bolnick says.  He’s game to look into it, though. Bolnick plans to conduct diet experiments in humans to see if diverse diets lead to the same effect in humans. 

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