Brilliant tactics from Paul Lieberstein, a.k.a. Toby Flenderson, the human-resources dude on NBC's The Office:
(1) Fake two sick days (you got it BAD), in the middle of the week. If possible, schedule them so you miss a "fun" work event, like a special (free) lunch.
(2) Rent some movies the first day; play outside the next. If caught, say you're feeling better but are still CONTAGIOUS. Tell the person who catches you that you don't want to touch or breathe on him.
(3) Once you're back at work, never imply that you took some "time off." Instead, say, "Believe me, that was a hard time." TRUST NO ONE with the truth—absolutely no one.
(4) Be prepared for the fact that some will never believe you were sick, but it's their job to pretend to believe you. And the sad/happy truth is, as long as no one has to do your work for you, no one REALLY CARES whether you're there or not.
Comments
In every company I ever worked for, sick days were essentially extra vacation days. You get a certain number of them per year and no one really cared why you took them, as long as you weren't taking more than you had and as long as you weren't blowing off any important deadlines. Who can enjoy a day (or two) off if you have to sequester yourself inside your house with all the shades drawn because you're afraid of getting caught? My strategy: call out and say you're not feeling well and then, the rest of the day is yours to do as you want.
Flag This