You're an idiot. In the middle of nowhere. With a bottle but no tool with which to LIBERATE THE VINO languishing within. Fret not: You can get at that good stuff. You can even choose whether to bow to thirst or decorum: Don't overthink it; just jam the cork into the bottle, gingerly decant, and plan to drink it all that night. Too gauche for you? Then ram the butt of the bottle against a tree (trust me) until the cork rises enough for you to take the tip of a blade and pry it out little by little in a spiral-staircase pattern, so as not to break it. Or you can keep ramming until it sticks up far enough to yank it out. Now quaff like Falstaff.
Have no fear. That bottle can be opened anywhere in the wilderness.
Photo: Caliterra/Flickr
