NOW I KNOW how Floyd Landis feels.
A few years back, I had an idea for a magazine article: I'd profile an ordinary weekend athlete who cheats by taking performance-enhancing drugs. Although I found evidence of what I call citizen doping, I could never pin down someone who both fit the bill and would cooperate, so I decided to cut out the middleman and do the cheating myself. Under medical supervision, I took testosterone for about a year, even as I continued to train and compete as an amateur bike racer. I chose T, as it's sometimes called, in part because it was the same stuff Landis apparently used to win the 2006 Tour de France.
My experiment evolved into a book project, and I soon learned plenty about doping and the facts and myths that surround it. For example, some scientists don't think that synthetic T, a lab-produced hormone that can be used to augment the human body's natural testosterone, benefits endurance athletes. (Could've fooled Landis.) But powerful sports-policing federations like the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) have no doubt that it does, so synthetic T is forbidden in amateur and professional bike racing (as well as intercollegiate sports, Olympic competitions, and so on). The T, which WADA categorizes as an anabolic steroid (a type of hormone), unquestionably builds muscle mass and is thought to aid in recovery after rigorous exercise—like Tour stages.
As word about my book project spread, I was treated to a small-scale version of the wrath Landis experienced when it was announced, shortly after his Tour victory, that he'd tested positive for synthetic testosterone. When officials at USADA—WADA's U.S. affiliate—learned of my misdeeds (I told them), they let me know that I was in for swift retribution, probably a multi-year ban from amateur racing. I've also been getting ripped by bloggers and tweeters, including Joe Papp, an ex-pro who was busted for using performance enhancers in 2006, a saga I wrote about in Outside. Linking to an Amazon description of my book, Papp tweeted, "Wonder how aggressively @usantidoping will come out against the author of this filth.... 'I doped b/c I could?' "
"About Tilin," one commenter said on a blog critical of my stunt, "if doping didn't vault [him] onto the podium ... then maybe it's no big deal. No big deal, because you'd still kick his 45-year-old hypocritical ass, clean."
Of course, any similarities between Landis and me end there. In 2006, Landis apparently used T after faltering badly in one Tour stage and before an epic victory in the next, and his performance triggered questions about how fast testosterone works. (Not that fast.) Subsequently, like the typical busted pro, he spent years denying what he'd done and didn't offer any insights about doping. In contrast, the whole point of my exercise was to experience testosterone and write about it. Over a nearly yearlong stretch that started in January 2008, I doped almost every day and kept records about the effects the drug had on my middle-aged body.
During that time, I competed in more than a dozen races, and in the end there was little doubt in my mind that testosterone provided performance boosts, though they weren't as obvious as many people assume. Take what happened during one of my early races as a doper, back in April 2008. It was a sunny, crisp Northern California Saturday, and I was struggling through the third of four laps in an obscure 51-mile contest called the Wards Ferry Road Race, pedaling against a bunch of thirty- and fortysomethings in a category reserved for non-elite amateurs. Sweat running down my back, I waited for the T to kick in—or at least to give me some sign that it was working. Why couldn't a light start blinking on my handlebars? Or my power meter play several notes of "Don't Stop Believin' "?
Near the end of the hilly course's third lap, however, something happened: I felt a subtle but unmistakable second wind. At the top of a rise, I turned around and realized that our original group of 30 riders was now a group of seven. Everyone else, as bike racers say, was off the back. I finished sixth, which for me was a great result.
Comments
Citing "Journalism" as the reason for doing this is crap. Take all the T you want, but don't go out and crush guys who ride clean to make your self feel awesome. Next up: visiting prostitutes and robbing banks so you can write books about it? P.S. "Coming clean" after the fact just makes you look like a bigger douchebag. The sport is so jacked up already because of the rampant drug use, we really don't need an article like this.
Flag Thistotally agree w/clean rider and am really disappointed in Outside. Not sure waht the point of this article really is....um.... doping makes you go faster??? and its really easy to do??? Pretty irresponsible journalism imo.
Flag ThisClean Rider misses all the key points of your article: 1) Winning the race isn't the motivation, understanding why people dope is - and you've shown why by clearly describing the affects on you and your performance. 2) It only makes sense if you did this experiment within the context of competition since that's where we have issues with it. 3) And because cycling 'is rampant' with it, not publishing this story is like burying your head in the sand and hope the problem goes away. Go
Flag ThisGood article! It just proves how easy it is to attain success through pharmacology. There are Masters racers here in the Southeast who work 50 hours a week, train like demons and kick ass on the weekend. A couple of them are well into their 40s and 50s, and are ripped like Greek Gods. I'm not naming names, nor casting aspersions, but it leaves one scratching his head! Maybe this article will shine a light on a problem that actually DOES exist! Does the name Pete Cannell ring a bell?
Flag ThisAs a physician who is not an endocrinologist or a geriatrician, and under no pressure to investigate the reasons that people take, or why other physicians prescribe testosterone, I found this article useful and fascinating. What people to fail to understand is that there really is a dearth of evidence one way or another for doing a lot of things in the world of the pro athlete - or at least, there's not very much *public* evidence. I found this illuminating. Of course, you're only 1 person...
Flag ThisI used to be interested in this subject matter. I remember Outside already published a very similar article a few years ago. Now, I see articles like this as just stupid. I'm sure there are plenty of amateurs that dope because their egos demand it. This article seems to be pathetic justification for a mediocre cyclist to get a little glory and a story in a reputable magazine.
Flag ThisWhat if the T-gel is medically prescribed for a specific ailment as its supposed to be used, and not for a performance-enhancing boost? After reading this I wondered how many male 40-50-60 year olds who are under T-replacement treat also race, whether it's on bike, running, or something else. Should they be docked a few minutes off their times or be banned outright?
Flag ThisSport is sacred. You just defiled it. For you next book project why not join the Peace Corp and build sanitation for a village? Maybe, just maybe, I might consider accepting your closing bizarre contritionary "sincere apology." As far as your books--my guess is that they will prove more useful in your African sanitation project than in enlightening humanity.
Flag ThisLotsa moral high ground types in the comments. I too am a physician & cyclist. I've never doped, but could totally see how people would and do. It's easy. I have patients bringing me ampoules of God knows what from bulgaria that they bought on the internet, and asking if I'll prescribe it to them. The idea that anyone (regular Joes, not just pros) would dope to get an edge is one that needs to be brought to light. It is happening all over. It's instant gratification meets endurance racin
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Flag ThisI just don't understand all the haters on here. I don't think he glorified his performances at all. Try re-reading the article without your blinders on. Maybe you knew first hand how easy it was to get and how it made you feel? I didn't. I would be surprised if this account made more people dope, only more suspicious of others that they ride against. It's a great article and a fascinating read.
Flag ThisI am not afraid to post my real name as some of those critics are. It is easy to criticize if you don't use your real name. This is a brave article. To hide under the veil of self righteousness is lame. The value of some one wanting to understand first hand and give there account is priceless. He chose to investigate himself the effects of testosterone instead of chanting the same rhetoric from the moral high ground.
Flag ThisIf Outside wants to do something about the issue of doping, then the article did not go far enough. My suggestion: get a larger group of riders, use various types of PEDs, record objective data (wattage, repeated TT times, etc.) so we can get a clear idea of what these drugs do - and more importantly, what it looks like when someone is on them. The more the athletes and fans know, the harder it will be for dopers to fly under the radar.
Flag ThisThe author alludes to the core problem of all drug abuse- the addictive pull whether physical or psychological continues as an urge that bothers for years or forever. I would like a companion article by the author's wife. Perhaps her views on the yelling, irritability, and sexual persistance would be very different and give some insight about how much the author's behavior changed with the experiment.
Flag ThisThanks. I've always wondered if anyone every doped around me in local tennis leagues. No reason, just wondered if it had ever worked its way down to weekend warriors, just because. Asked my doctor that once, who came up with a neutral "There have been no longitudianl studies, but I really suspect he was thinking I was poking around for some and wasn't going to answer that.. This is the first article that attempts to answer that question. Now, I don't suspect any one person and will guess if it exists at a club level than maybe in connected islands but not generally. Anyway, I've wondered about that and this article helps scratch that itch.
Flag ThisThanks. I've always wondered if anyone every doped around me in local tennis leagues. No reason, just wondered if it had ever worked its way down to weekend warriors, just because. Asked my doctor that once, who came up with a neutral "There have been no longitudianl studies, but I really suspect he was thinking I was poking around for some and wasn't going to answer that.. This is the first article that attempts to answer that question. Now, I don't suspect any one person and will guess if it exists at a club level than maybe in connected islands but not generally. Anyway, I've wondered about that and this article helps scratch that itch.
Flag ThisAs a long time amateur, I've known of several amateur dopers, and have been astounded when people dope at our level, including one rider who bragged about using EPO after dominating a local stage race. I also, inadvertantly doped myself for several months when the sports drink I was using started adding creatine to its ingredients. I noticed a huge increase in strength and recovery and became suspicious - at which point I discovered the change in ingredients.
Flag ThisFootball in college- late 80's/early 90's, people were definitely juiced and you absolutely noticed a huge difference, but it's hard for me to understand how the same approach would help with an endurance sport. I've always known that the guys on the tour de france were doping, but it was unnecessary. Now we know that to keep a 90-100 cadence for 100+ miles with an avg speed of 30+ mph you've got to be juiced. Thank you
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