You consider yourself a gentleman, and so it's important, when you wake up with A STRANGER IN YOUR UNDERPANTS one remorseful summer morning, that you manage the matter with due delicacy and grace. What complicates things is that it's not a fellow Homo sapiens you brought home last night but a Dermacentor variabilis, which translates roughly to "moody flesh nibbler," a.k.a. the American dog tick.
Yes, you exercised poor judgment, but it's too late to worry about that. She's already gotten herself attached—way, way too horribly attached—to the tenderest organ known to men. You hate to be caddish, given the intimacies you've already shared, but be honest with yourself: You two simply don't have a future together. Don't be drawn in by that transparent "Oh, but I'm so tiny and vulnerable" routine. She's a parasite, no two ways about it. She knows she's got a good hustle going here, and she won't leave you alone until she's bled you to a husk.
You both could use a drink. Pull that pint of Kentucky Gentleman out of your liquor cabinet (no need to waste the Knob Creek). Take a strong dose yourself, then tilt the lip of the bottle against your little visitor. Hold it there for 90 seconds or so. Give her a nice long slug. Never mind the sting.
Ah, now she's feeling no pain. If her head weren't buried in your special purpose, you'd see a little woozy smile dawning on her face. Head for the bathroom. Take out your trusty Revlon needlenose tweezers. Now get a good grip, close to the jaw, and pull. That's a good girl. Let it go.
Now she's gazing at you, pinched in the tweezers' grasp, her eyes dark with the fury of the scorned. But a quick goodbye is what the occasion calls for. Grab the book of matches on the back of the commode and set her tactfully on fire.
Comments
Wrong. Flush the vermin straightaway. Heating it may cause it to pop, spewing you with Rocky Mountain Spotted fever or Lyme laden innards, which can be absorbed directly through your skin. Otherwise, good enough. I put the ticks I remove into a jar of Isopropyl; they die slowly while I watch.
Flag ThisDo DOG ticks carry Lyme?
Flag ThisDo DOG ticks carry Lyme?
Flag ThisYes they do!!
Flag ThisYes they do!!!
Flag ThisBrown dog ticks definitely vector RMSF: my younger brother almost died from it. As to whether other ticks, such as the American brown dog tick, can vector Lyme or a variant, read http://georgialymedisease.org/yahoo_site_admin/assets/docs/ws-rCDC_removes_Bb_vectors.30094848.pdf You want to chance it? Then go ahead and immolate that tick you are certain is a brown dog tick. To my way of thinking, it would seem prudent to advise the flush?
Flag ThisBetter way is to put the tweezers in ice water for 2 mins and then slide under the tick's body. Wait 1 min and gently lift off. May need to repeat He should come off without a fight, spewing back into you,nor worst leaving his head behind. ziplock the tick in case you do develop symptoms.
Flag Thisevery insect that bites for blood is a female; it's about their need for prorein to reproduce. mosquitos, fleas, ticks - female goes for blood. as for tick removal, it is essential that the tick is removed alive and whole. that takes time - like 5 minutes. cotton swabs with the booze at a positively dripping soaking level while gently pushing her around - not with those tweezers unless very gentle - it will let go. then some bug who was ready to use you - well, fair game.
Flag ThisOK, so it is better to use drinkable alchohol to kill them rather than Isopropyl? I knew a rancher in the Texas Hill Country who said he put a tick in a jar of Bleach for a week or so and it still didn't die. Tall tale or truth?
Flag ThisOK, so it is better to use drinkable alchohol to kill them rather than Isopropyl? I knew a rancher in the Texas Hill Country who said he put a tick in a jar of Bleach for a week or so and it still didn't die. Tall tale or truth?
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