"SIX POUNDS!" cries Ellis, welcoming a caller to his show. We're back in the studio the day after visiting Hawk's compound. "Six pounds" refers to Ellis's estimation of the weight of his genitals. He frequently uses the phrase in place of "Hello."

Today, he's taking calls from listeners in an effort to crown the "world's greatest fat ass all-time in the history of the universe." All four of his lines are flashing with suggestions, and the Faction intern cannot answer them fast enough.

"Yeah, I'd like to nominate John Candy," says a caller.

"Well, he is a fat ass, but he's dead and so he is disqualified."

Ellis hangs up, muttering, "What a turtle-banger," and turns to the next call.

"Crackalacka-cracka! What do you have?" "Crackalacka-cracka" is a slight modification of Ellis's more standard "cracka-ass-cracka," which basically means he's a white boy, and what else can one do but joke about it?

"I'd like to award Sam Kinison one million points because he was awesome and fat and short and dated super-hot chicks," says a caller.

Quietly, as a butler would speak, Ellis says, "Sir, thank you for calling."

Then raising his voice to a yell, he announces, "I am granting Sam Kinison one million points, and it doesn't matter that he's dead!"

Pendarvis, out at his desk, listening with half an ear and half a smile, opens another bottle of Dew.