Jack Handey

Message to the New President

DEAR MISTER PRESIDENT: Congratulations on winning the election. I always knew you would win, and not that other guy. I told all my friends that. You can ask them. Mister President, let's get down...

30 Times

Don't like to brag, but I have climbed Mount Everest 30 times. The first time I climbed it, I was only ten years old. I was lucky to make it to the top. I didn't know what I was doing. I was wearing...

In Praise of the Human Body

Got the whole make-fitness-fun thing? Now let's talk about that mortal coil of yours. You think you know it, but you don't know Jack.