Way to Go

1999 Family Vacation Guide, Backseat Bliss

Way to Go
Kids v. Dogs

They may often act alike, look alike, and on certain unsavory occasions, even smell alike. But trust us: Deep down, kids and dogs are as different as wet and dry. That's why any well-armed parent bold enough to attempt a multispecies road trip should keep in mind key differences between the creatures in the backseat. Such as:

Potty stops:

Kids: Every 4.5 minutes or 4.5 miles beyond "last services for 45 miles" sign
Dogs: Every time the car rolls back onto the highway after the kids have gone

Most frequent thought:

Kids: Y'know, from behind, Dad looks exactly like Tinky Winky
Dogs: Ptooey. Doesn't taste like Corinthian leather to me

Most common road-trip structural damage:

Kids: The old Crayola-wax-melted-into-plush-velour trick
Dogs: Slightly remodeled coffee-cup holder/teething ring

Biggest irritant:

Kids: Embarrassing parental KC & the Sunshine Band funk-alongs
Dogs: Sleeping on the hump

Never-fail sleep aid:

Kids: License-plate games
Dogs: Tummy rub

— Ron C. Judd

Copyright 1999, Outside magazine

More Travel