How to Be a Dancing King

Feb 15, 2012
Outside Magazine
Dancing King

"It's all about me, baby!"    Photo: Courtesy of Everett Collection

Samba in Brazil, waltz in Austria, Bollywood in India, tango in Argentina, swing in the U.S., polka in Germany, reggae in Jamaica, hip-hop in Kenya, mambo in Cuba ... The world is your dance floor; be not afraid. Stepping on toes in five continents over the past decade, your dedicated correspondent (and Out of Bounds columnist) Eric Hansen has formulated a few principles that will allow you to fake it or flaunt it. Anywhere. Let them be your passport to cavort:

(1) Your goal is always and only to make her look good. Usually, that means not embarrassing yourself while you LET HER DO HER THING: stomp, shimmy, spin like she's in a hair-product commercial.
(2) If you're dancing in a country that writes its name in roman letters, you can usually DEFAULT to a four-step side-to-side. Elsewhere remote Nepal, for example mimic the men.
(3) Clubbing? Always keep your hands above your elbows. But don't make fists; RELAX and pretend like you're holding an egg in each hand.
(4) In all partner dances besides swing, the DIP should be employed with restraint and class; at the beginning, it's dramatic; the middle, surprising; the end, glamorous.
(5) Make your partners look hot and they should increase in HOTNESS.