We love the French. After all, one of our favorite tech makers, Withings, comes from France. As does the Tour. And French Fries.
But the new Connected Bikini is faux smart.
The $167 swimsuit uses a UV sensor that’s roughly the size of a credit card and designed to tell wearers when to cover up. Then, when you’ve been out sunbathing long enough (and presumably not swimming, as we fear the viability of how the device is moored), it pings a connected app on your phone to let you know it’s time to cover up.
Because this is France, and you’re wearing a bikini, there’s also an option to have the app relay the fact that you need sunblock to a special someone so they can apply the coverage for you. Whatever happened to Bain de Soleil for the San Tropez tan?
And while we’re killing the, er, mood, we’ll point out that you should probably have sunblock on anyway, and that if you want a UV meter to tell you how much is too much, many other options are available (like this Android app and this bracelet from June), none of which require the purchase of a bikini.