Humor. Essays. Adventure.

Semi-Rad

20 Things That Take Longer Than the Nose Ascent

Basically anything

(Brendan Leonard)

Basically anything

On June 6, Tommy Caldwell and Alex Honnold broke the speed record for climbing the Nose of El Capitan, a 3,000-foot route that takes most parties days to climb. Caldwell and Honnold finished it in 1 hour, 58 minutes, and 7 seconds, a record that’s incredible when compared to all other climbs of the Nose—but also impressive compared to other non-climbing things that take two hours or more. Such as:

  1. Every marathon ever run.
  2. This lady’s work commute.
  3. This guy’s work commute.
  4. This baklava recipe.
  5. The average dishwasher normal cycle time.
  6. Listening to the Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness in its entirety.
  7. The average person’s daily social media use.
  8. The wait to get into Yosemite on busy weekends.
  9. A flight from Denver to L.A.
  10. Watching Lawrence of Arabia until the intermission.
  11. Light traveling from the sun to reach Uranus.
  12. Listening to this entire loop of “Eye of the Tiger.”
  13. Listening to this loop of the theme song of The Joy of Painting starring Bob Ross.
  14. The drive from Denver International Airport to Vail, with no traffic and no bad weather.
  15. Any reasonably dedicated game of Monopoly.
  16. Playing nine holes of golf, on average.
  17. The average NBA game.
  18. Watching this video of a compilation of the best nail art designs of July 2017.
  19. Watching this intro on how to make a costume rose fairy dress.
  20. Climbing eight routes with a partner on a busy weeknight at your local climbing gym (probably).
Filed To: Climbing / Yosemite / Media / Denver / El Capitan / Social Media
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