Sabrina Shay Pigg Believes in Action
The artist was lost in her own life until a walk in the forest spurred her to take charge of her journey
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Sabrina Shay Pigg told her story to producer Stepfanie Aguilar for an episode of The Daily Rally podcast. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I woke up, and I was like having that feeling again where I was like, I just feel … I don’t know, just like nothing’s happening for me, it just felt like no wheels were turning. As if the universe was kind of against me. I knew that I had the capability to do something and be someone, but I was like, But what? What is it?
My name is Sabrina Shay Pigg, and my artist’s name is Sedusa. I also work in the beauty industry, so I promote and sell hair products using TikTok. So, I’m in social media marketing. Right now I am in Sacramento, California.
My personality, I definitely have a balance of the light and the darkness, and lots of energy. I have ADHD, so I’m always moving and hyperactive. I’m very talkative, very social. I like to talk to people, like to listen to people talk.
There was this time where I was feeling really lonely. I was in this relationship that wasn’t really serving me, honestly. I was just sacrificing my wellbeing to be around someone.
I had left California, and I went over to where they were living, and that’s when I was just feeling really unfulfilled. I felt like I had no direction and I didn’t know what I was doing, and the things I was doing were just kind of fun, but never something that was like, Oh, I’m excited to wake up and do that today.
I usually was being woken up by this person because the apartment was small, and they worked in a Zoom type of setting. So I always woke up to a Zoom meeting. I didn’t have as much money, so I was just like, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know, I feel like I would just wake up with a dark gray cloud over my head, every single morning.
That day, I remember I woke up and I was like, I don’t even know who I am. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know what I want to do. And I was like, OK, let me just leave the house because I gotta go. Because I honestly have nothing to do. So, I started driving.
I didn’t know what I was doing. So I just drove anywhere, and was just listening to music and just trying to ground myself in a sense. But it totally wasn’t working, because I was just getting even more and more stressed out.
I got off the freeway, and I started driving down this road, and I saw a trail leading into this mountain. I was like, Oh, OK. I just immediately stopped, got out of the car, and I got my backpack.
I was walking on the trail, and I remember I was wearing an all-black outfit and I happened to have been wearing leather leggings. So, it was starting to get really hot because the sun was beating down on me and I was thinking, OK, this wasn’t a day to dress cute.
I didn’t know where I was gonna end up. But I was like, I’m on a trail so it must lead somewhere. And then, this other part of the forest called to me, and I was like, I’m gonna go over there. I just got off the trail, and I started walking in that direction.
Then I came across this pond, and it was just really magical. I sat down on a log, and I pulled out my journal and I just started writing and writing and writing, and all these things started to come up and I was having all these realizations. Why do I feel like this? What’s missing? It feels like something’s missing. What is it? It was a lot of like, why, what?
Then I heard a noise, and I turned, and a snake slithered next to my foot. It was orange and white, I remember, kind of striped. I was just staring at the snake for a while, and I was like, Whoa. Is this real?
I feel like my posture changed after that, and I was just different. I was noticing all the little things that were happening around me, like the way the sun was shining, the way the wind was feeling on my skin, the way I felt sitting on that log. And I remember I kept hearing this frog in the background. Everything was just really heightened.
It really felt like something divine in that moment. And then I was like, Oh my God. I wanna make music. I wanna sing. I wanna be a singer. Why have I been so confused this whole time? Little me? This is what she wanted to do the whole time. But I’d just pushed it so far deep down that I forgot about it. It was almost like a wish came true. A fairy godmother came to me and was like, “Alright, we’re doing this now. Let’s go. I’m ready to assist in this journey.”
I went back home and I was just sitting in that apartment. I was like, I feel so restricted here. I can’t grow past these walls right here. And I immediately scheduled a plane ticket. I flew back to California and, honestly, I wasted no time. Once I got home, I put my stuff down, and I went straight to go buy a mic. And I started recording, and then I started putting music out. And that was just the biggest transformation of my life. Especially waking up that next morning after I had recorded, and even though it wasn’t good and it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t great at all, but the fact that I did it, it just caused this ripple effect in the universe.
I feel like I remembered who I was and what I was here to do, like the mission my spirit came here to do and fulfill. And even though I’m really scared while I’m doing it, I’m literally so scared every moment, but I’m still doing it. That’s just been my biggest accomplishment because after that I’ve just felt fulfilled in every other area of my life. So, it’s just made me really happy.
Some advice I would give to anyone going through something similar is to be really patient with yourself. Be really kind and gentle, because you need that more than you think, and you shouldn’t be your own enemy at this time. You should be your biggest cheerleader. You should be the one showing up for yourself the most. Just showing up for yourself in small ways every day. It doesn’t have to be a giant morning routine, it’s just doing one thing that’s gonna make you feel good and being like, At least I got that done today.
Action is the biggest step of the whole process, because you have to go out and try and do things and use your hands, use your voice, do it all.
Sabrina Shay Pigg sings and raps under the name Sedusa in Sacramento, California. She moonlights in social media marketing in the beauty industry for a company that focuses on curly hair.