What the FBI Found in Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Gear Shed
The contents will astonish you
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Who knew that, like many a mountain town adventure bro, the 45th president maintains a dedicated, climate-controlled space where he stores his favorite gear, apparel, fitness equipment, and outdoor memorabilia? Well, we all do now, since federal agents busted its door down during their August 8 raid on Mar-a-Lago. Housed in a free-standing structure situated between the estate’s pool and pickleball court, this crib’s secret contents are casting new light on the adventure passions of an energetic man. Here’s a partial list of what they’ve found.
- Honey Ivermectin Stingers
- Denim ski bibs
- Signed Melania pith helmet
- Custom golf balls stamped with the faces of political enemies (set of 10,000)
- Forest fire prevention rake
- Jogging shorts. Presidential seal. Never worn.
- River of Blood commemorative shot glasses
- The Complete Trail Guide to Donald J. Trump State Park
- Business prospectus from Mike Lindell for MyAirMattress™
- Orb folding solar panel kit
- Recipe for Dutch oven taco bowls
- Pool dragon with ankle leash
- Patriots Starter jacket
- Document-burning Solo Stove
- Two one-pound shake weights
- Deep lug West Point ramp shoes
- Lab results from Theranos