Behold “Meat Rushmore”

National Jerky Day spotlights all-beef monument

Row, row, row your boat, gently across the Pacific. That may or may not be a helpful mantra for the rugged oarsmen and women who are competing in the inaugural Great Pacific Race, a 2,400-mile travail from Monterrey, CA, to Honolulu, HI. Called “the biggest baddest human endurance challenge on the planet,” the event is a test of the will, as participants must cover the distance using nothing but arm strength and determination.     
Although 13 teams were slated to compete, only 7 set off on Monday, due to the late arrival of some teams’ vessels. This logistical snafu shouldn’t come as a huge surprise, giving the scale of the undertaking. Indeed, Monday’s start already came on the heels of a 48-hour delay, due to 40-knot offshore winds over the weekend. 
The boats that did set off included four-man crews, pairs, and intrepid soloists–with Guinness Book Record titles lying in wait for some, should they manage to successfully cover the distance. Finishers are expected to arrive in Honolulu sometime between 30 and 90 days from now.
As the Monterey Herald reports, the race is the brainchild of a 33-year-old Briton named Chris Martin, who is hoping to break even after scrounging up $668,000 to put on the event.

Those who were unaware, take note: Today is National Jerky Day, a time when citizens of this great nation come together to reflect on the importance of dried meat. To mark the occasion, Minong, Wis.-based company Jack Link’s Beef Jerky has commissioned a 13-foot replica of Mount Rushmore to be constructed from, you guessed it, jerky.    

Laboriously fashioned by art director Alex Valhouli and more than 20 additional flesh sculpturists, “Meat Rushmore” consists of 1,600 pounds of beef, pork, and turkey jerky. The piece, which took 1,400 man-hours to build, will be on display today in Columbus Circle in New York City.

We can only speculate what Teddy Roosevelt or George Washington would have thought about seeing their larger-than-life likenesses rendered in meat, but then again, the original monument is already pretty strange to begin with.

To quote George Carlin, “The Black Hills are sacred Indian ground. Imagine the creepy feeling of four leering European faces staring at your ancestors for eternity.”