The Outside Yenta Says…
Outside's long reads email newsletter features our strongest writing, most ambitious reporting, and award-winning storytelling about the outdoors. Sign up today.
Travel Guide, Winter 1995-1996
The Outside Yenta Says…
1. If you consistently selected (a), you are a HOPELESS AMPHIBIAN.
Bonaire–Plummeting coral walls just 100 feet from the beach–walk out of your room with a tank strapped on.
Maui–Aerial flips off 15-footers at Hookipa Beach Park. Windsurf-o-rama.
Baja California–Tired of kayaking the pristine, turquoise coves of Isla Espíritu Santo? Snorkel ’em.
Palau–Ngemelis Wall drops a thousand feet, a Technicolor backdrop for undulating, nine-foot sea fans.
Barbados–The winter swells at Soup Bowl rumble like earthquakes. Don’t forget your leash.
2. If you like (b), you are undoubtedly a SALTY DOG.
British Virgin Islands–Drop anchor at the Bight off Norman Island and explore the caves in your dinghy.
Fiji–Sail to Naviti Island, visit the female chief, and trade with the locals for wood carvings.
St. Vincent and the Grenadines–Sailing made simple: Cruise downwind from St. Vincent to Union Island. Drop the boat off. Fly home.
Big Island of Hawaii–Blue marlin, yellowfin tuna, and mako sharks–strap yourself in, cast, and prepare for a fight.
Florida Keys–Battle Atlantic sailfish offshore or wade off Islamorada and toss fat plugs at stiletto-toothed barracudas.
3. Since you’ve chosen mostly (c), you are a JUNGLE JUNKIE.
Dominica–A green reprieve from a sea of sandy resorts. Hike the densest rainforest in the Caribbean, then take a dip in a warm-water mineral pool near Boiling Lake.
St. Lucia–With luck you’ll spot the rare green St. Lucia parrot in the Quilesse Forest Reserve.
Kauai–Seriously lush. More rainfall than any place on the planet. Strap on your gaiters and attempt the radical cliffs and gorges of the Kalalau Trail.
Guadeloupe–The croissants are so French, so flaky. Carbo-load, then hike up sulfur-spewing 4,813-foot La Soufrière volcano.
Grenada–Cling to rocks, vines, and your life trekking the Camp Fedon Trail inside the Grand Étang Forest Reserve.
4. If you picked mostly (d), you are a BEACH POTATO
Anguilla–Thirty-three heavenly beaches and not a Jet Ski in sight.
Harbour Island (Bahamas)–A three-mile swath of honest-to-God pink sand.
Kaimbu (Fiji)–Rent the entire island and snooze beneath a palm tree.
Culebra (Puerto Rico)–On a busy day there might be ten other people on the creamy sand of Playa Soni.
Mayreau (Grenadines)–Privacy defined. A thrice-weekly mail boat is the only regular transport.
5. You can’t help but answer (e), which make you a SHAMELESS HENDONIST.
Jamaica–Seek out Negril, the Caribbean’s den of iniquity.
Puerto Rico–Some say San Juan’s Condado district is emerging as the next South Beach.
Oahu–Party with the aging beach boys on Waikiki.
Yucatán–Blaring reggae and salsa from a string of open-air bars along Tulúm Beach.
Bahamas–Grab your goat mask and your stilts and join the Junkanoo revelers on Nassau’s Bay Street.