Super Mosquitoes to Invade Florida

20 times larger than normal


Florida continues its ascent to America’s Throne of the Bizarre this week with news that its central region may soon be invaded by a race of super insects. The gallinipper, a species of mosquito with a body larger than a quarter, has benefited greatly from recent tropical storms and is poised for a massive population spike.

“I wouldn’t be surprised, given the numbers we saw last year,” said University of Florida entomologist Phil Kaufman. “When we hit the rainy cycle we may see that again.” According to UF researchers, only female gallinippers will bite humans in search of blood. However, the species is known to be very aggressive and possess a very painful bite. On the upside, they are not known to carry diseases like West Nile virus or malaria.

Officials recommend wearing plenty of DEET and covering as much of your body as possible to defend against the terrifying beasts.