A Farewell to Pants

Parting with your favorite pants can be such sweet sorrow.


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I've lost my pants, been pantsed, and wet my pants, but I haven't, in recent memory, been so torn about ditching a pair of pants. They were gray Carhartts, and they were my yardwork pants, my campfire pants, my ski-trip pants. Even though they were cotton, they were my peak-bagging pants. But for every Home Depot run and road trip they made, they had their shortcomings. It started with the crotch—they gave my privates no privacy. The waist was belly-button height—I was constantly pulling them down to my hips, which caused the fly to bunch up into an embarrassing horizontal pup tent. Don't misunderstand me; I really liked them. They were functional. They had a side pocket that held a cell phone, and a hammer loop I actually used. They didn't just fit into the mountain-guy paradigm; they were the paradigm—the Toyota Tacoma of pants. Still, sadly, they didn't fit me. Or perhaps I didn't fit them. So, during a move last summer, they went to the Goodwill bin. I'm sure they'll make some different-size mountain guy happy.

1. Gramicci Field Pant ($68,

2. Eddie Bauer Flannel Lined Cargo Pants ($69;

3. Lee Jeans Heritage Straight Fit Jean ($44;

4. Burton Midfit Denim Jean ($64;

5. Dockers K1 Khaki ($165;

6. Patagonia Men's Cord Pants ($85;

7. Mountain Khakis Original Pant ($73;

8. Stetson 1520 Standard Straight Leg ($60;

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