With all due respect to the makers of real and useful multitools, and with no constraints of what would actually fit in a product, I designed the perfect multitool. I believe we have to dream big. (But I also believe it is quite probably impossible to stow a pizza cutter inside the handle of any multitool.)
Brendan Leonard’s new book, Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems: More Funny Shit in the Woods from Semi-Rad.com, is out now.