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My mom used to call them “nature trips.” The vague, almost pleasant-sounding descriptor was meant to offset my childhood terror, but honestly, pooping outside was always anxiety-inducing. What if I fell over? Could I lean back far enough for adequate clearance? Were there, like, snakes around here?
However, the doubts that swirled through my mind were often unfounded. Eventually, with time and practice, the process got easier, the release more relaxed. OK, maybe I wasn’t jumping up and down with excitement every time duty called in the backcountry, but I no longer dreaded the task.
Through the years, I’ve even become an advocate for the dirtbound dump. It’s not a perfect science, but neither is the act itself—in any setting. A recent article in The Cut titled “Everyone Has Hemorrhoids Now” provides a new level of evidence-based vindication. According to the piece by Katie Arnold-Ratliff, hemorrhoids, the painful inflammation of veins in the anus, now affect one out of three Americans who go in for a colonoscopy. Given that recommended first colonoscopies have been bumped up to 45 years old from 50, and a noted rise in hemorrhoids cases by gastrointestinal experts, it seems that the anal affliction is trending younger across the board.
There are plenty of factors that lead to hemorrhoids, but one generational change in behavior stuck out above the rest. Hanging on the toilet for too long unfurls an almost guaranteed path to hemorrhoids, meaning that your brainless bathroom scrolling might actually be putting you at risk for developing the painful condition. Bet you didn’t see that one on your Instagram feed.
But you know what’s hard to do while popping a squat behind an exposed rock outcropping? Checking your dang phone. Going to the bathroom outdoors is a full-body experience, one that requires strength, balance, focus, and a dash of determination. There isn’t room for liking your celebrity crush’s newest fitness craze. Pooping in these conditions demands presence. Determining the right setting for the job and finding some useful balance points (I’ve had success with fallen logs or two small trees for hand leverage) become your biggest concerns. No need to wipe down the toilet seat either—there isn’t one!
Backcountry relief is about getting the job done and getting back on the trail quickly. By design, there is no lingering in this loo. Most of the time this is out of necessity—our vulnerable bits don’t typically love starring in the nature experience—but the added medical insight provides another reason to keep it short and sweet.
There will always be a place for your porcelain throne, and the bidet might just be the Eighth Wonder of the World. Still, the verdict is overwhelmingly in: pooping outdoors isn’t just for emergencies—it’s for your health.