The outdoors are for all of us, and all kinds do show up. Setting out on a stroll in nature means we will almost inevitably come in contact with not-so-polite, socially strong-willed, or otherwise memorable humans. With our combined years of hiking, Outside staffers realized that there a few trends in the humans we’ve encountered on the trail.
#1. Speedwalker Who Breathes Down Your Neck But Isn’t Going Quite Fast Enough to Pass You Gracefully
#2. Gear Junkie with Immaculate, Expensive Stuff That They Very Clearly Just Bought in One Grand Trip to REI
#3. Superfit Old Dude Who Says What a Beautiful Day It Is
#4. Hiker with Carabiners, Bear Bells, Hiking Poles, Visor, and Wraparound Sunglasses on Very Normal-Length Hike
#5. Neverending Boy Scout Caravan
#6. Small Child Who Is Absolutely Going to Die If They Have to Go One More Mile
#7. Mountain Biker Who Runs You Off the Trail and Definitely Doesn’t Mean It When They Apologize
#8. Annoying Dog Person Who Says “He Usually Comes Back to Me Right When I Give the Command!” Also, Leaves Their Dog Poo Bag on the Trail and Does Not Intend to Retrieve It Later
#9. Person in Jorts and Toms Who Is Probably Going on Their First (and Last) Hike of the Year
#10. Bro with Boombox and Affinity for Bad Pop-Country Electronic Remixes
